Because of You, I am Afraid.

[TW for assault, self-harm, homophobia, and transphobia]

In the last two days, I've been betrayed by people I trusted- all over an article I posted to facebook (of all places) The article proved the point that female comic book characters are over-sexualized to the point of being non-functional as superheroes. The author (who is also an artist) did this by drawing pictures of male characters in the same clothes and positions as female ones (thus showing that female's costume is actually functionally useless, even when on a male superhero). Someone I considered a friend read it and posted a 'helpful' response of "Get better articles," because apparently if men were over-sexualized, they wouldn't be dressed in that way. (And zomg they said bad things about fishnets).

I read the response and honestly did not have the energy to right then explain the point of the article, so I went the nice route and just asked him to read it again, as he missed the point (I even included a smiley face to show that I did want him to learn, cause friendship.) But nope, examples weren't up to his standards, need better articles. Other friends tried explaining it to him, nope, he continued on. Finally I was starting to get upset so (being as it's my space and all) I asked him to stop, as I would soon start to be less nice. He stopped, but soon after another person who I thought was a friend jumped in and started attacking me to 'prove a point' - basically, that though I was being patient and nice, the very fact that I didn't accept my male friend's opinion was me 'being nasty'. Because opinions can't be wrong or something. But at that point I snapped and fought back in defense of myself, but she just would not back down. She got nasty enough to trigger me very badly. Repeatedly I asked her to stop and reminded her it was my space, but while she acknowledged it was my space, she did not stop. She continued violating me with her words.

At that point my real friend jumped in and defended me, but the other commenter just kept coming, gleefully mocking me with phrases like "This is the most I've seen Ange post in years" and "lol I'm being a dick (her words) to prove a point" and other choice phrases. Violation after violation. No after no. Finally I just gave up, tried one last explaining comment, and went to sleep (or tried to, as I was still triggered and my anxiety prevents me from actually sleeping), with no support system.

[Boyfrog and company are going through their own stuff, and got defensive when I couldn't -literally no capacity for it when triggered- comfort them, then got angry when I called them on something. I admit, my words were pretty close to mean (for which I am sorry), and I know I can't speak for others' experiences, but I don't really have much control over my word choice when triggered- I react; I word vomit in a knee-jerk way. I don't sugarcoat. I describe what I see. Anyway, we'll see if that can get back on track at some point, but for now that's besides my focus].

Once morning comes, I eventually find the strength to go downstairs and at least check my email (yep, I felt my stomach and heart tighten in the grips of a panic attack as I checked), and sure enough, another reply. At that point I was too upset and defeated to bother replying, so I tried to calm myself, until I noticed I got a message from 'friend' number one- the guy who brilliantly pointed out I should get better articles, and whose entire position smacks of both misogyny, heteronormativity, and a dash of homophobia and transphobia (Men would never be dressed like that! Cause men.)

See, I even went so far as to try to reply and apologize (seriously, apologize for being repeatedly violated and attacked, and of course my 'nasty tone' -_- ), but he apparently has either blocked me or removed his facebook account. So, I figured I'd put it here on display.

If you want to help a cause quit spamming every article without a critical eye. If an argument is bad, the author loses credibility even if the overall point being made is in fact a good or valid one. I've been on the side of the author in almost every article you've linked that I read. However, there were so many that were so poorly written such a flood can only drown out those people that are better at doing it. I wasn't trying to help feminism, I don't have the time or the passion, I was trying to help you do better at what you've been doing.

Also, the point of the article was directly stated early in the article. Anyone who felt the need to state it themselves should reevaluate their own comprehension levels.

Comparing Women dressed in sexy women's clothing to Men dressed in sexy women's clothing to come to a conclusion regarding how men dress is a fallacy. Ignoring something does not make it refuted. Arguing logic isn't semantics. Saying after looking down on semantics that words have meaning is hypocritical. What I'm doing now is being an ass, while also not being wrong.

Anyone who thinks I'm dumb needs a SERIOUS reality check.

I hope the rest of your life is as miserable as the betrayal I felt yesterday. I have nothing but hatred for your kind.

You want betrayal? Try being verbally assaulted by two 'friends' over the course of 2 days, (a month after another, separate 'friend' decided to assault me in person), being gleefully triggered so badly that you want to slice yourself to ribbons, having little to no support system because they're all involved in their own stuff, having people 'secretly' show the attackers support though Likes and whatnot, and then being told to have a miserable life (while assigning things to me that I did not say). That is true betrayal, and I hope not one of you ever has to live through it.

ETA: I took down the whole article and attack, and put up a status basically saying that I'd been effectively silenced and triggered......and the woman who triggered me just asked if I was 'ok', cause it was 'nothing personal'......what fucking world do people live in that they can verbally assault someone until the point of trigger, and then ask a question like that, especially with any real seriousness.

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