Klondike, You Disappoint Me

Here we have the new "What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar?" commercial. Translation as follows:

Announcer: New Klondike Mint Chocolate Chip Bars present "5 Seconds to Glory!" Mark vs. Actually Listening to His Wife! [Sounds of Mark's Wife talking, but not being able to hear the words over the announcer]

Mark's Wife:...beautiful, beautiful yellow squash, and I thought we could potentially paint the foyer yellow. What do you think? I know it's yellow, I know...

*timer sounds with a ding and confetti flies, with much cheering from Mark and two unknown females holding Klondike bars*

"What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar" theme song

*cut back to more cheering and celebrating by Mark (and the unknown, icecream-wielding females) while Mark's Wife sits, looking confused and being covered by wayward confetti.

Mark: "Oh yeah! Mmm! I did it! I did it!"

Ok, so let's break this down a little:

Apparently, it's now a sport to listen to your [your being het-cismale, as the commercial shows] wife for a whole 5 seconds! One which Mark gladly takes on (note that Mark's Wife doesn't have the distinction of even having a name), and "wins", thus he was 'rewarded' with a yummy ice cream treat. (And women whose only apparent job in this commercial is to jump around excitedly under confetti and bring him the icecream.)

There are so many things wrong with that 30 seconds, it practically makes my head explode. First of all, the 'listening to your wife is sooooo hard' trope annoys me muchly. Here I was, sitting here, thinking that you're actually supposed to listen to what your partner is saying, not because you'll get a "reward" (which I'll get to in a minute), but because you genuinely love hir, and you care about what zie has to say.

Which brings me to the second part, rewarding the (cis-het) male with icecream. Last time I checked, men were not infants, incapable of paying attention for more than 5 seconds [which, as the video "enlightens" us, takes a lot of concentration]; much less are they infants unable to concentrate for more than 5 seconds without getting a "reward" for being a "good boy". Men are, in fact, whole, separate, complete people, just as women are- men are no more the same as children as women are obstacles to be put up with.

Commercials like this are an insult to both men and women alike. They're a product of the patriarchy, used to shortchange and tear down both women and men. This can be counteracted, however, by expecting more. I expect more. Shame on you, Klondike. Your icecream is not worth marginalizing and stereotyping people over.

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